Domestic violence has become a viral issue in the society now with many women starting to speak up on the abuse they have suffered while with their husbands and in their matrimonial homes.
Many women have lost their lives to this domestic violence while many has suffered bouts of pains and emotional trauma as a result of the constant battering they receive from their spouses.
While the men who beat their wives have been called demons and beasts as a result of their actions, it would be wise for us to carefully examine this issue and put the blames where they ought to.
The society should stop painting the men as the bad one, while they have been called beasts, it would also do us good to consider the role of the women who made the men turn them into animals with their constant battering and beatings.
Please do not take it the wrong way, domestic violence is bad and no woman should have to go through it. It is a terrible experience that may have an everlasting impact on a woman’s mental health.
Find below some of the reasons why women are considered to be a major cause of domestic violence:
1. Nonchalant attitude
Most women who suffer domestic violence must have somehow seen the signs while they were dating their husbands. But many women prefer to live under the illusion that the men would change or they are probably madly in love with them. Love is not aggressive, it is kind. Love would not hit you hard and make you lose your mind.
Some women have been hit by their partners during courtship, yet they make up excuses for them and still walk down the aisle. A man who beats you before marriage could kill you as soon as you become his wife.
2. Thirst for materialism
Some women do not want to live within the means of their husbands and end up bruising the men’s ego. They are too sophisticated for the men they are married too and confront the men with this point.
Some women make their husbands feel worthless while shun theirs openly. Attitudes like these could frustrate anyone and bring out the beasts in them.
It is not appropriate for anyone to cheat within the clause of marriage; the society promotes men as philanderers who cannot be checked as a result of their sex. This could hurt a woman and also push her to explore that option too.
As women, if you must cheat, please endeavor to do things the proper way. If you are tired of that union, find your way out peacefully. But do not ever mock your husbands by flaunting your extramarital affairs in their faces. Those that tried it are six feet under the ground, and those who lived to tell their own tales are not healthy now.
4. Unchecked utterances
Women are known to be loud most times with many nagging every little chance they have. Certain words spoken by women also infuriate the men and could make them go beyond their limits.
The tongue is a sharp sword; some use their tongues to bring down their husbands and make them depressed. Do not use yours to destroy your home. Although this is not a justification on the men’s part, it would be wise for the women to steer clear of things that may birth trouble in that marriage.
5. Failure to leave an abusive marriage
We understand that most of the women in our society are good mothers ‘abiyamo’, we implore you to stop using your children as an excuse to put up with domestic violence and abuses in your marriage.
These children would grow up and become what God wants them to be. If you die during a fatal domestic violence, these kids’ lives continue. Women find different excuses to stay in abusive relationships. Some profess their love for the men who beat them and think they cannot do without them.
Some simply enjoy the doses of affection that come after a violent attack from their husbands. Marriage is not a do or die affair. Any union that would steal your peace and cut short your life span is not worth fighting for.